Are you in a SEXless marriage?

Yep I said it on my blog. S-E-X. We are so going there.

I'm not bringing this up to draw unnecessary attention or to be that person (you know the one that never stops talking about sex), but because this topic needs some attention.

Some very serious attention.

So answer the question: Are you in a SEXLESS marriage?

Like a lot of blogs, this one starts the same way... So I was watching Oprah the other day... And she had this sex therapist on talking about sexless marriages. I wish I would've taken notes because it was so intriguing. But I left with one very loud point: Too many marriages in America are sexless.

This past Sunday I taught on "Wives" as part of our Colossians 3 Christian Roles series we are going through in Oxygen. One of the stories I shared was about an experience I had in our pre-marital training workshop. They asked the question: "How often do you think you will have sex?" With all honesty and without an ounce of hesitation, I wrote down: "At least once, maybe twice a day." No, that wasn't a typo. I honestly believed that was a realistic expectation.

Let me guess: all the married ladies are laughing and all the single ladies are confused that married ladies would be laughing.

It's that reaction by married people that is the issue. We laugh at the idea of frequency of sex. Spend an hour around your single friends that are intent on waiting till marriage, and you will be reminded of what a great gift we really have.

This past Sunday we looked at this verse: 1 Corinthians 7:2-5

β€œEach man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights , and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. ...Do not deprive one another..."

Scripture calls us not to deprive one another.

I hate that Christians get this wrap for being passionless. There is more sex going on outside of the church and it just shouldn't be true! Christian, married ladies, we say that we believe in saving sex for marriage but we are the worst advertisement for that. What incentive is there for your children to wait till marriage when they see more passion on FOX then in their parent's relationship? I'm not saying they need to know your intimate moments, but they will be able to pick up on your passion.

I've heard all the excuses: you are tired, he isn't present, you don't feel good, you've put on weight, it's too much work, it's too messy, you just cooked dinner and did the dishes, oh and did i mention you are tired... the list goes on and on.

The point: Ladies, he is your man. "Do not deprive" him.

So if it's been a while: One of the things the sex therapist says is that it's going to be awkward to start an active sex life with it being so long (by so long, there was one couple that hadn't had sex in 8 years). But you have to start. Hold his hand tonight. Tomorrow kiss him. And the next time... just do it (literally).

So I have a couple of questions for you (to answer privately):
1. When was the last time you had sex?
2. How often do you have sex?
3. What are you going to do about it?

It's your choice.

And can we all agree, when you choose to have sex it really is worth it (I am speaking about sex in marriage)? Singles did you hear that? It is REALLY worth it!