What is this? To find out more about where this Q&A came from, read this blog.
I am asking that you would comment here if you feel like you have a response (similar or different) for these ladies. I want us to be able to offer them as much perspective as possible. I numbered the questions specifically so you could easily refer to them in your comments.
1. My biggest struggle in life, currently, is peer pressure. Is this something you struggle with? And if so, how did you deal with it?
Umm, yes! Girlfriend, I don’t know if this ever goes away! How’s that for some encouragement? :) I feel like I am constantly battling in my flesh with wanting to please the Lord and still feeling this pull to wanting to please others around me.
How do I deal with it?
1. Journaling and Prayer: Honestly this helps me really get honest with my feelings and my motives behind things. Surrender this to the Lord and be honest. Beg him for wisdom and strength-- and when He gives you an out, take it! Also, put this on a note card and repeat it over and over and over again: 1 Corinthians 10:13 - “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you maybe be able to endure it.” So He promises He provides an escape, but you have to take it!
2. Surround yourself with some solid girlfriends. Have y’all heard me say this enough yet? Having a solid group of girls that pursue Christ as intently as you is vital in your walk. Give them permission to speak truth into your life. Give them permission to hold you down if you start running away from that escape. Try your hardest not to hate them when they follow through. Know it is done out of pure love. And be that friend to others, because your time will come too and you will want them to do the same for you.
Also, a book that has come highly recommended, but I have never read (it’s on my list) is: “Pleasers” by Dr. Kevin Leman.
2. Is it appropriate for women to lead (in ministry; spiritually) men?
You know this can be a really debated item in the church. Churches have split over this very issue. I would encourage you to do your own biblical research on this and see what you think.
Personally, the only place where I come to a road block on this issue is a woman pastoring or a woman teaching men (older than 13). I still don’t know where I stand on this issue. As I’ve said in other CASL q&a’s, most of my issues are due to social blocks, not just what I find in scripture. I’m not trying to be politically correct or give you a non-answer. I just think this is a very personal decision that needs to be determined from your personal study in the Word, not your personal opinions, desires or the thoughts of others.
3. How as women can we make sure we submit to men in our ministry?
You don’t have to make sure to submit to men in your ministry. The only call for women to submit to men in scripture is, Ephesians 5:1, “WIVES submit to your own HUSBANDS.” No where have I found that women are to submit to men in general. I’m not sure how this became such a big thing in the church. Scripture says to submit to your “OWN husband.” Not someone else’s, yours. Now, you want to make sure you are honoring all people in your ministry: men, women, those above you and below.
4. How can one lead when they are not even sure themselves as to where they’re going in life?
Haha! Good question and one that I struggle with too. It is my personal belief that the Lord keeps us feeling inadequate because we are-- we can’t do any of this without Him. I face this all the time with ministry, feeling like who am I to teach or lead others? But I come to this verse often: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
5. Where in Texas should I go on my honeymoon in the summertime?
You are so cute! I couldn’t love you more for asking this questions. It was such a nice break up in the conversation that day!
Chris and I just went on our two year anniversary trip to Gruene, TX this past November. It was so much fun! We stayed in the Mansion Inn Bed & Breakfast. They have little cabins that overlook the river with porches and rocking chairs. Plus an over the top breakfast that will change your life. It was so fabulous. Plus there is tons of good food in walking distance. If you are of age, there are several wineries around too, that was fun to go for tastings. And lots of shopping, interesting to walk around all the antique stores. And even one of the most famous country dance halls. Warning: We did come back with a bun in the oven though, so be careful! ;)
Any other suggestions for good places in Texas?
6. How do I teach myself not to stress about things I have no control over?
When you find out, let the rest of the world know and you will become a rich, rich woman! One thing I like to do is try to see God’s hand in everything, look for the rainbow in it all. On a more serious note, when we stress we are saying with our actions and thoughts that we aren’t trusting God to handle this situation, that we don’t think He is enough. Confess that to Him and surrender the situation to Him (you might have to do that every day, hour, or minute). Also, do a word study in you Bible and find verses about worry and trust and write those on note cards and read them aloud when you feel this way.
7. How do I learn to accept the blessings I’ve received and be more patient?
Again, when you figure it out let us all know! Girls, do you see a trend: We are all in the same place! This is why we have to support and encourage one another more! Now I’ll get off that soap box and answer your question...
Start a Thankful Journal. Start recording in it all the things you are thankful for. One of the things Chris and I want to do with our kids is write in a Thankful Journal every night 5 things we are thankful for what God has done that day to help them see God in all things. Often times when we put our focus on what God is doing, we focus less on what (we think) He isn’t doing. And as always, tell your girlfriends what you are dealing with so they can support you in the process.
8. Do you have any advice for people considering going into the mission field?
Continue praying about it first. Then I would suggest talking to as many missionaries and missionary groups as possible. I noticed when I was in college how big of a trend this was for people wanting to go to the mission field. I think it is amazing if you really feel called to do this! I couldn’t support it more! However, the one thing I would ask yourself is what are your intentions in this? I say this because I think a lot of us think we aren’t really doing something for the Lord if we don’t go to the mission field. Girls, look around, the mission field is every where! But again, I fully support your desire to be a missionary and think that’s amazing! Next step is start talking to some missionaries. Also, look into a journeyman program. This is great because it allows you to test drive it for 2 years to see if you are really called to do this full time.
As always, you can still submit more questions or email me for clarification on an above question at firstname.lastname@example.org.