day 2 | taking a test, playdates & getting in the picture

This has already been such a good challenge for me. It's been good for me to let my real desires have weight in my decisions and choices. 
I feel like I should share this disclaimer:  I'm not saying for the next 31 days that I'm putting myself before Jesus or that my family, friends and ministries will mean nothing to me. Jesus is always first. I'm not trying to put myself before Him at all. But I think we can often take the "die to self" command too literal. We are supposed to let our flesh and it's sinful desires die (and that's a continuous process). Not let what is best for us or who we are die. And there are some things that I think just don't matter-- where we, in our freedom, can use our discernment. Like my first thing on the list...
Things just for me... 
taking a test. 

(If there are any men reading, you can go ahead and skip this one. You're welcome for the heads up.)
Yep I took not just a regular pregnancy test today, but a doctor ordered blood test. For the past few weeks we've thought I might be pregnant (not planned at all). All the same early signs with the last two girls + a clear medical indicator + a missing monthly (very regular) visitor + I'm just not one of those girls that thinks I'm pregnant every month = even our doctor thought we were pregnant. But we were getting negative tests every couple of days, so our doc suggested a blood test. Usually I would say that's ridiculous-- a waste of time and money (I didn't even test with Karis till I was 2 weeks late). But my body was feeling so crazy, so I went to get a clear, quick answer. 
(And I'm NOT pregnant. This is a good thing ultimately. Would've been a fun surprise. But would've been crazy timing.)
a playdate. 
Karis has had a very toddler week. And the last thing I wanted to do was to take her around other people. To go through the hassle of getting things all loaded up to be gone for the day (playdate + visit with a friend + community groups that night). But I love playdates and love getting chat with other mamas. Playdates are for the kids to play and learn social skills, but they are also for the mamas to play and use social skills. So, because I'm doing this challenge, I decided to go. And I loved it. 
SO grateful for all the mamas (and non-mamas) I get to do life with. You all are a breath of fresh air to my days. 
And I'm happy to report Karis was sweet as can be. And her and Miss Audrey finally became friends (if any kid has a better head of hair than Karis, it's Audrey). 

getting in the picture. 

I'm HORRIBLE at getting in the picture. I probably snap 25 pics a day of my girls, but am in about .01% of the pics. And I hate that. I don't like my hair or my outfit or that I'm not wearing makeup or whatever other lame excuse I have that day. And I regret it. I love the pics I have of Karis as a baby that Chris forced me to take even when I looked like a zombie because it was our real every day life. Unedited and unpolished us. So I'm going to try to get in the pics more because I really do love being in our memories. 
And this memory right here I want to remember for a long time. After a week of toddler terror (with a weekend break in Dallas, praise Jesus), this girl finally broke. Something happened that morning and she clicked back to herself. We haven't had a time out or spanking since then (which I probably hate more than she does). And for 15 minutes at least she sat still in my lap just like this. This mama needed those cuddles with my girl. 
P.S. I know this is supposed to be just for me, but can I just say, "How in the world is Karis this big? Do you see how long her legs are?" 
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