Talking about the Skaggs family are no new thing on this blog (see this blog post). But I'm so excited that this time I won't be the one talking to you, but Emily Skaggs will actually be sharing with you! It is so appropriate for Emily to kick off this February series because she is the one that has most advised me in every season of relationships. She walked me through singleness (and tried to match me with many a bachelor and pushed me to put myself out there more). She walked me through dating Chris (and invited him into their lives). And when we got engaged they had us over to talk about any sex question we could think of and to share every advice they wish someone would've told them. And once we got married, they were who we called any time had an issue. And once we got pregnant and now have a baby, I seriously talk to her in some capacity nearly weekly for advice on something! Emily is a fun, wise, truly pursuing Christ, honest, genuine person and a really good friend.
I hope what she shares encourages you regardless of what season you find yourself in. While this post is intended for single women, I got so much encouragement and conviction as a married gal.
There’s More to Life than a Husband and Kids
When I was single, my main focus was marriage, a comfortable home in the burbs and ultimately, children. I wanted it so badly because it was my “heaven.” In my mind, it was the ultimate measure of success. Thus, my thoughts, my attitudes and my motives drove me to finding “the one”.......as soon as possible.
So I found him. We dated, we married, we bought the house and had the children. And I quickly found out that my “heaven” was occupied by a bunch of selfish, sinful people (and I was the queen of it all). Marriage wasn’t perfect! We fought about finances, yard work, house work, schedules, you name it. Each of our needs seemed more important than the other. Kids brought a whole new dimension of stress with exhaustion, illness, stubbornness, discipline, you get the picture!
Now don’t get me wrong, I would move heaven and earth to do just about anything for my husband and children. I am so thankful for the many, many sweet moments we share as a family. There’s nothing I treasure more than Joel, Ella, Seth and Kyle. But they aren’t perfect and I am far from it.
It was a Bible study I did called, “Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ” by John Piper that I was truly captivated by God’s GLORY. My heart was transformed. I realized that I was created for more than “this.” I was made to give God glory. The Bible tells me so.
“Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth....whom I have created for my glory, says the Lord.” Isaiah 43:6-7
I learned that the deepest longing of every created, human heart is to truly know and fully enjoy the
glory of God
. Christ didn’t suffer and die on a cross so that we would be exalted and praised in our transformation of grace. Rather, we exist in order to enjoy making much of Him.
If my heart had really grasped this before I was married, I could have been so much more useful for the Kingdom. If my energies were focused on bringing the Lord much glory in my circumstances, rather than on finding and marrying Mr. Right, there is no telling how the Lord might have used me or what he could have done in my life.
My encouragement to single women is to stop wasting your life waiting for the next big thing or Mr. Right. Rather, spend your life focused on bringing the Lord much glory in your current circumstances.
- You may not like your job- how can you bring glory to the Lord?
- You may have had your heart broken- how can the Lord be glorified in your response?
- You may have lost a dream- how can you point to the goodness and blessing of the Lord for His glory?
- You may be “stuck” at a crossroads- which way would bring the Lord most glory?
- You may never get married- how can your life bring God much glory?
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“As the heavens are higher than earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9
For His Glory,
About Emily and her family: We are a happy family, living in the burbs, with three wonderful children – Ella, Seth, and Kyle. Joel, the daddy, works at a software company in finance, and Emily, the mommy, is a former public relations professional who is now a very busy, full-time mom. Our second child, Seth, was born with Down Syndrome in May of 2011. You can keep up with Emily and her family on their blog: The Fun House. And be sure to friend her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.
Check out some of the other 2012 relationship guest posts:
Erin DuBroc (Why things had to change:
& Part 2)
Becky Kiser/me (To the Virgins: Worth the Wait