I Repent

I just finished week four of "Approaching with Confidence" by Tammie Head. It was one of those weeks that spoke a truth that had been ignored for a long time. Too long. It was about the necessity of repentance.

Something, if I'm being completely honest, that I generally lack in doing.

I hate that the above statement is true. I hate it.

A few weeks ago my good friend, Erin DuBroc, posted about a song I had forgotten about. And now, thank God, I can't get it out of my head.

I hope it rings true with you and the lyrics strike you to your core as well.

"I Repent" by Derek Webb

i repent of my pursuit of America's dream

That's me. I want the American Dream so bad. I didn't think I did. If I had to answer the question: do you want God's Glory or the American dream more, I knew how to answer the question right. But my actions say something far different.

i repent of living like i deserve anything
my house, my fence, my kids, and my wife

Y'all we built our fence last year because of my fear. My tangible desire to keep others out.

in our suburb where we're safe and white

Have I mentioned before how many times in one week I check for houses in Katy on HAR.com? No? Well it's often and you would need more than one hand.

i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent of parading my liberty

I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those Christians. You know the kind. The kind that kept me from Christianity for so long.

i repent of paying for what i get for free

The doer in me has to feel like I had something to do with this. Foolishness.

the way i believe that i am living right

I hate that I always think I'm right. Why do I do this with God too?

by trading sins for others that are easier to hide

I may not have such an obvious sinful life now. I'm too clever for that. I've learned to take on new strongholds. Ones others can't identify at first glance. Then I allow others just close enough where they can hardly notice.

i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent judging by a law that even i can't keep

How could I hold others to a standard I couldn't even pretend to do myself?

wearin righteousness like a disguise to see through
the planks in my own eyes

How could I think that I had any right to judge with these red wood size planks in my own eyes?

i repent of trading truth for false unity

The comfort of the Christian bubble is only a facade.

i repent of confusing peace and idolatry
of caring more of what they think than what i know of what they need

Will the day come when I stop caring what others think?

and domesticating You until You look just like me

Isn't that what I've really done? Tried to make this to look like I want it to.

i am wrong and of these things i repent

You can listen to the song HERE.