We have an interview today.
This morning I am having flashbacks to my 22 year old self. A semester and a half away from graduating and ready to finally be a grown up. I was about to have a degree in communications, served in leadership in just about anything I could, and had my resume polished and pristine. I had pulled out the Houston Business Journal and scoped out the top 10 Public Relations firms in Houston. I sent my resume to each of them. But one in particular, the number 2 company, stood out to me. So I found out one of their Vice Presidents was speaking at my school in a class I wasn't enrolled in. I talked to that Professor and asked permission to attend. After the VP was done I waited till every last student had left and I asked her: "Can I walk with you to your car? I wanted to talk to you about working with your company." She agreed (which in hindsight, might have been weird). A month later I was offered a summer internship, and that fall I was guaranteed a job once I graduated.
You see, when it comes to going after something, I can't remember failing. I don't say this to be prideful. Truly. My brother used to be so frustrated by it growing up. He'd always say, "What Bec wants, Bec gets." I've always been fearless to go after the things I wanted. And confident that the things I was pursuing I could get and I could do really well.
So today, after 10 months of waiting, we interview at a complex with Apartment Life Ministries.
This whole process has been one giant reminder that it doesn't matter how bad I want something or what I'm willing to to do to get it, if it's not His timing or His way, it simply won't happen. And, in hindsight, I am thankful for it.
This morning, ironically enough, my Bible study had me in the story of the Israelites entering into the Promised Land (so hoping that is the Lord's confirmation). But one verse stood out to me today:
I am reminded, yet again, that it doesn't matter what I am able to do with my own hands.
Without Him I truly have nothing to offer.
Without Him my creativity is dull.
Without Him my drive is lifeless.
Without Him my boldness is cowardly.
Without Him my ambitions are vain.
Without Him my accomplishments are dust.
Without Him my appearance is skin deep.
Without Him I have nothing to offer. Nothing remarkable anyway. And I know this from experience. Because for far too long I had lived my life without Him. I know the difference.