I find it hard to even describe how life is right now. Hence the blog absence lately. Not only has it been hard to find the words (which I will try to do today), but I just haven't wanted to part with her for a minute.
We are completely in love and never imagined life could be this good.
Yes there has been all kinds of ups and downs since she was born (more to come in future blogs), but those downs have made us appreciate even the late nights, spit ups, poo-poo diapers, etc. We are overwhelmed with gratefulness that the Lord gave Karis to us. Overwhelmed.
Thank you to all of you who prayed for her during the hospital stay. Her jaundice is all cleared up and her heart murmur results came back benign. We are so thankful the Lord willed to heal our baby. We have had to many friends that didn't find themselves in the same situation.
That's where perspective based reality comes in.
During the past 10 days and really the past 10 months, we find ourselves so incredibly grateful for the place we find ourselves in. If you were to simply read through each person on our blog roll you would hear about different struggles they are all facing. Some "big" and some "small."
But I've learned the past week and a half that just because something seems small doesn't mean it is.
When Karis had to go to the NICU after birth we were told it could be two days that she would have to stay. That was hard news for this momma to hear. I had only held her for a few minutes and I was told I would not be able to see her for several more hours and hold her for even longer. My heart was broken. I wanted my baby. I sobbed in our room just hours after giving birth because my baby should've been there with us.
Then when we found out due to her jaundice levels and loud murmur she would have to stay another day for treatment and testing and we would have to go home. My heart tore to pieces at the thought of leaving my baby behind. Of her not being in the car seat on the way home.
During those times Chris would comfort me and pray for me and hold me. We had to trust God in new ways. In real ways. The reality of certain situations came before us and we had to really see if we trusted God. If we held our baby with open arms before Him.
All that to say our perspective because of our community helped to ease the trials. We knew things could've been so much harder. We also knew that at any point everything could change and we could find ourselves in the "worst case scenario." But we also knew we had a God that we believe really has ordained all her days (Psalm 139). So who are we to worry about that? We are simply called to love and train up this little one each day we have her.
So this is where reality came in.
Compared to most our situation was small. Murmurs and jaundice are common. As our doctor reminded us when were discharged: "Lots of families have to leave their babies behind for treatments and testing."
However that didn't change that it still hurt. That our hearts desperately longed for her to come with us. For her to find complete healing.
I cried. Chris cried. And we missed our baby when she wasn't with us. And that's OK.
My personality tends to be one that puts on a smile all the time and is OK with whatever life throws me. But for moments this past week and a half I've learned that honesty with the Lord is freeing. To go before Him with my hurts and to not mask them in fake contentment is amazing.
So with all this said, I hope that you feel encouraged to be honest with Him today with whatever you are going through. Even if it is small, it is your reality and that matters.
I know that wasn't a great update. And it seemed wamp wamp for the joy we are experiencing in our lives right now. But when I sat to type this blog, I felt like I needed to share this lesson first.
More blogs to come soon...
*Labor & Delivery: I Actually Birthed a Person!
*Called to Now
*Pictures Galore (I promise this is coming, we have finally uploaded pictures. Now it's a matter of uploading them to blogger)
*Some of Our Favorite Things
*A Daddy's Perspective (I want Chris to share what it's been like for him)
Much love from us all!!