One more day.
It's hard to believe that the day that I have been waiting for since I first found out in December that I was pregnant is finally here. Karis' due date is tomorrow: August 14, 2010.
This day has been circled on our calendar since December with a countdown check every day (sometimes many times a day). And it's finally come.
Obviously she hasn't come yet and probably won't till next week. And I am just fine with that. Psalm 139 has been my verse for her this pregnancy and her days have been ordained, starting with the first one.
I can hardly believe that at this time next week I will be well acquainted with my baby girl. I will have already stared at those eyes for hours, smothered every square inch of her with kisses (sans the lips, of course), I will have drenched her in tears of joy, I will have sung her lullabies (however, not very well), I will have showed her off to all our friends and family (and of course my blog world peeps),... I will know her.
This week has been an emotional one for me. I know my hormones are at an all time high, but it's more than just hormones. The reality of knowing that next week my daughter will be here has been overwhelming to say the least.
I have had moments of, "Can I do this?... I'm really about to be a mom. ... What kind of mom will I be?... Oh no." But more than anything it has been pure excitement of what is to come.
But there has been one more emotion that I hadn't expected to experience.
I'm going to miss her being in me. I'm going to miss the closeness of pregnancy.
Don't get me wrong. I am NOT going to miss going to the bathroom every hour (no exaggeration). I'm NOT going to miss the itchy belly and stretch marks (yes, they came two weeks ago, I thought I was in the clear). I'm NOT going to miss the constant back pain and the pain on lower belly. I'm NOT going to miss everyone sharing their most horrible pregnancy and/or labor stories. I will so love sleeping on my back and stomach again. I will love and savor my next glass of Cabernet (there I said it). And I will stuff my face with sushi. (Note: Your are more than welcome to bring the last two things with you when you visit.)
However, this past week there have been so many times through out the day and night that I find myself wanting to sob or actually sobbing at the thought that Karis will no longer be with me. I am relishing every kick. I find myself just staring at my belly watching her and placing both hands to feel her feet and tap her sweet bottom. I will miss the lightening speed of her hiccups. I will miss the contortions of which she can make my tummy move.
I know most women in the end of the third trimester are ready to have their bodies back. And, don't get me wrong, I've had those moments. But for me they have been brief. I think having never expected to get pregnant, at least not this soon, I have relished every moment. From the start with morning sickness and the comfort that brought me each day with the affirmation that her life was still present. All the way to this moment, one day till her due date.
I will miss her. As much as I will love holding her in my arms. I will miss her.