This is for my single friends. It started as an email I was writing to a few girlfriends, but I thought it could be encouraging for all you other single ladies out there too!
Tired of Waiting would have been my middle name 2 years ago. I was tired of waiting on the Lord to bring me a man. I was tired of not getting asked out. I was tired of only having relationships that I regretted. I was tired of going to weddings that weren’t mine. I was tired of being patient and waiting on the Lord! I was tired of going to baby showers that weren't mine. I was tired of living up the single life!
On the way to work the other day I was listening to the radio and a song came on. It was a song that when I was single would give me hope and make me want to cry all at the same time (don’t you love being a woman?). We all know the song, “Broken Road” by Rascal Flat (lyrics at bottom of the blog).
The broken road was so my story. Starting in middle school all the way through the beginning of college I was in one broken relationship after another. My last relationship before Chris ended at the beginning of my sophomore year of college. The Lord then had me single for 5 years (insert gasp here). After my last relationship I just didn’t have a desire to date just for fun… because dating wasn’t as fun as it used to be. Not to mention that I wasn't getting asked out. At this age it gets serious. Your heart is so involved! (Don’t hear me wrong: dating is a lot of fun, but there is more at stake at this age it seems).
Ladies if there is one piece of advice that you ever listen to me about, please let this be it: Wait. Wait for the one the Lord brings you. You will know.
People have asked me how I knew Chris was “the one.” I’ve always hated that answer people say, “I just knew.” Let me describe to you what the “just knew” was for me. Every other relationship I was in I would be wishy-washy. I would have to talk myself (and others) into the relationship here and there. With Chris, being a major fear of commitment person, things got serious fast and this time I tried forcing myself to talk myself out of the relationship (something that had always just happened naturally). But I couldn’t. I couldn’t talk myself out of it. It made sense… more than anything, I just knew.
Bottom-line: You’ll know. It doesn’t matter what others think. There are many very unhappily married people that married someone everyone pushed her to marry. You have to know. (Warning: If you are in a relationship and you “know.” Make sure you really examine that you “know” because this is the man and it isn’t a “know” because you want the married life. These two can be easily confused when you haven’t experienced the real “know.” Trust me I’ve been there. If there is ANY doubt, I would say that you don’t “know” yet.)
Don’t settle or get impatient. It’s just not worth it. Marriage is hard enough; don’t marry someone just because you would rather not be alone. Unhappily married women are some of the loneliest women in the world. See purpose in the waiting. I have several girlfriends that have never dated. For you sisters that have never dated or it is at least starting to feel that way, keep waiting. If you believe in the Lord you know that He has good things planned for your life.
When it came to my time of waiting I clung so tightly to Isaiah 55:8-9:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Last night my pastor preached on seeing the purpose in preparation. I can see how the Lord was preparing me those 5 years. For one, Chris was still in college the whole time! :) But more then that, I need time to be freed up of some things. Physical was something I had always struggled with in relationships. The details don’t matter. But what I can testify to you ladies is that was NOT a stronghold in my relationship with Chris. FREEDOM WAS FOUND… and then lived out! That was no longer a part of who I was. The Lord made me confident in who I was. By the time Chris came around I was certain the Lord was punishing me to a life of being an old maid. But because of that who I was had not become centered around another person. I allowed the Lord to shape my calling as I was. I lived it up. I had so much fun with my girlfriends (and guy friends). This is something that does have to change when you get married.
Trust the Lord. If He can create man, the world, part the Red Sea, raise Jesus from the dead and all of that… He can bring your husband to you. :)
Comments: I would love for y’all to share some comments on how you find comfort in being single.
Here are the lyrics to that song:
I set out on a narrow way many years agoHoping I would find true love along the broken roadBut I got lost a time or twoWiped my brow and kept pushing throughI couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to youEvery long lost dream lead me to where you areOthers who broke my heart they were like northern starsPointing me on my way into your loving armsThis much I know is trueThat God blessed the broken roadThat led me straight to youI think about the years I spent just passing throughI'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to youBut you just smile and take my handYou've been there you understandIt's all part of a grander plan that is coming trueEvery long lost dream lead me to where you areOthers who broke my heart they were like northern starsPointing me on my way into your loving armsThis much I know is trueThat God blessed the broken roadThat led me straight to you