Weekend Recap: Public Restrooms

So it seems that the best way to title my weekend is: Public Restrooms. Odd I know. But true.

Saturday night was a blast! Robin (my step mom) gave myself, my Aunt Jen and cousin Sydney tickets to go see Legally Blonde the Musical! We had such a fun girls night. We went to one of my all time favs, Birraporetti's, for dinner. Yum (no so much Weight Watchers friendly, but so good)! After dinner we walked down to the theater and grabbed our seats. The first act was super cute! Then we rushed to the restrooms... along with a 1,000 other women. Thankfully we were in and out in no time.

That's when I spotted him. Yes I said him. Some poor family had brought their dad to watch Legally Blonde. He looked so familiar, but I couldn't figure out how I knew him. I have the worst memory in the world. Just as I was about to go say hi, I realized how I knew him. I've watched him play baseball since I was a little girl.


It gets better... Aunt Jen has no fear and is from a small town, so this was a huge deal to see a celebrity. Immediately she grabs her camera and starts snapping away. When I say "snapping away" I mean she literally took 28 pictures of the man. I see a great blog opportunity and think, well if they are already taking pictures, why not one more? So hand the camera to my cousin to take some pictures (yes I conned an 11 year old to do the dirty work, wouldn't you?). Poor Jeff. There they were (notice I said they, Robin and I were a good 30 feet back and pretending we didn't know them) not but 10 feet away from Jeff snapping picture after picture. Flashes going off like we were at a rave. Finally he turned around and gave that "Are you kidding me?" look. That's when we decided it was time to get back to our seats.

The next story isn't so funny. In fact it is straight up humiliating.

For anyone who thinks talking about personal trips to the bathroom is inappropriate/not lady like/gross... stop reading here. But this was a first for me, and a must share. SO DO NOT READ FURTHER UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO. I just have to record this for my memory of my "Most embarrassing moment" story.

One of my biggest fears in life is that I would be trapped in a public bathroom with no toilet paper. Typically before I even "take my seat" I check to make sure.... ahem... we are well taken care of. Until Sunday afternoon...

Saturday night I woke up with intense stomach pains! They were miserable. I think I have an idea what childbirth contractions might feel like awful. I was "up and down" all night and then Sunday morning. The worst thing about it is it was a beautiful day in Houston on Sunday. I LOVE being outside. I honestly think I need to be outside on a regular basis to prevent insanity. By Sunday afternoon I was feeling better (a.k.a. I hadn't gotten "up and down" in a while) so we decided to pack a blanket and head to the park to rest in the sunlight! Vitamin D is good for the soul and body (in moderation with proper spf).

Just as we pulled into the park I felt it. The gurgle (ugh!) was back. Not good. Fear stricken yet determined I said we have to stay but I need to find a bathroom... QUICK! I made my way to the ladies room. FYI: I HATE public bathrooms. I try to avoid them at all costs. I don't even like using the restrooms at work and I know they're cleaned every day. The idea that so many people (and even grosser, kids) have been in there completely grosses me out-- regardless of the seat cover or squat approach. Grosses. Me. Out!

Swallowing my fear... and pride... I enter. Unfortunately (for me and them) it was crowded and I had to grab a stall near the front. Gulp. I "take care of things" then reach for toilet paper. There was nothing there. None! What?!!! None!!! Oh no. Panic! How could I forget to look?? In the horror of taking a front stall and the twisting of my intestines I didn't even think to look. Oh no!! What do I do???

I literally sat in there for at least 15 minutes trying to brainstorm my options. You name it I thought of it... down to if I had just brought my cell phone with me Chris could come in and help me (yes feel bad for the man that had to wait 30 minutes outside of the women's restroom). None of them were good options... but one was better than the rest.

I won't tell you what I decided to do because that's a little too personal and I think I've already given you enough of a mental picture that is guarenteed to give you the stomach bug I had (can you catch something via blog?) and cause you not to be able to look me in the eye the next time you see me. Know though that all ended up fine (aside from the hours I'll need in counseling from the trama).