Wow it’s been such a long time! Honestly I was ready to come back to “blog world” a month ago but I’ve been having such a hard time figuring out how to “come back.” Sounds silly I know.
I guess the biggest announcement from the summer is that… drum roll please… I am leaving my full time position at Houston’s First on November 13th. (For all you that started to hold your breath… we are not pregnant. Patience my friends, patience.)
This has been one of the hardest processes I’ve ever been through. So I’ll walk you through it…
Last Fall was probably one of the hardest personal seasons I’ve ever walked through… actually maybe this whole year has been! But anyway back to last fall. I felt this constant urge from the Lord that something was coming, something was beginning to stir. Then it started to happen… everywhere I went, whether it was scripture or a sermon or a friend or song, I heard a very clear message: “GO!”
This process first began with my reading through Genesis and I stopped for a while in chapter 12 verse 1: “Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘GO from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.” I knew in my spirit immediately that I was dead on with where the Spirit was leading. The urging I was feeling was that I was supposed to GO to a land that He would show me. So I turned in my 9 months notice (you would’ve thought I was pregnant… in fact that has been the rumor).
It’s hard to believe that in just 45 days I will really leave. I will still teach Oxygen at 8:20 every Sunday, and I won’t miss the chapel worship at 9:30 and we are so in love with our class, Veritas, at 11:00. So I’ll still be a member, and probably the most overcommitted volunteer, but I will not longer be on staff.
Identity crisis is beginning to surface. I already cringe every time people hear I’m leaving because they also reply back with: “So what are you going to do?” I know I sound like a lunatic when I say: “I don’t know. Still waiting on the Lord.” I think the truth is I know what I am going to do. I feel so lead to start writing and speaking more. But there is this fear that I’m not old enough, wise enough, know enough about the Word… basically that I’m not enough. But I think that is exactly where the Lord wants me. Because in Him I am enough.
Looking back on my life I can see that just as I became comfortable the Lord leads me “to a land that He has yet to show me.” Every time He does it. I don’t know why I am still shocked by it. I mean who leaves Texas A&M before their senior year and 9 hours shy of the coveted aggie ring? leaves Dallas to move back home to live with their parents and finish up school at UofH? Who leaves the fabulous PR world to work in church (with a ministry salary)? And who leaves working at a church like Houston’s First? But I know the Lord called me then and is calling me now. And just as He was faithful through all those moves, He will be faithful again.
One of my favorite verses in all of scripture is Isaiah 55:8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Wow… I just happened to keep reading and stopped at verse 11 & 12: “So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent. For you shall GO OUT in joy and be led forth in peace…”
Even now He continues to confirm that it is time and that He will provide when I GO!
In Genesis 12 Abram didn’t even know the land that He was been called into. But he still packed up his whole family and started the journey. It ended up being more than 1000 miles. I can hardly pack Chris and I up to go see family 200 miles away and we have a car and it’s just the two of us and I know when I’ll be back. Can you imagine being told to GO and having no clue what could happen to your family… what harm you might be placing them in.
Oh I want to be like Abram and desire God’s call more than any of my fears! And God is always faithful… look at what came from Abram/Abraham’s line. Wow.