Where is He when I'm hurting?

Do you find yourself side swipped sometimes with emotion over things in the past or present?
Or maybe just the thought of them brings up fear, sadness, anger or loneliness (or maybe a cocktail of all of the above).

I know I've mentioned on here many times about things I've learned from my counselor this past year. And I want to share one more lesson that I know brings me such comfort, that today I feel like someone else needs to hear it too.

With things I've learned in counseling, I don't mean to be mysterious or cause curiosity. I choose not to share specifics since it's not just may story to tell. And some things are just private.

I know you are shocked, the girl that shares about being a hooker, Kegels, and conversations with my OB, says some things are just private. Go figure. ;)

Back to the lesson that I hope changes your life as much as it did mine.

Several times during different sessions, I would be talking with my counselor about different things that have happened. Just recalling them would make me want to hover over in sobs or punch a pillow till the feathers spread all over the room. That's when she'd walk me through the most therapeutic process that has really brought true healing to memories that have weighed me down for years.

She'd ask me to shut my eyes and describe the situation. I'd remember all of it. Every detail. Every physical thing of that moment that set the stage. Every emotion that I felt (and others if they were present).

And then she'd ask me a question that has changed those memories completely.

Where's He at Becky? Where's Jesus?

I had never considered that the same God of Deuteronomy 31:6 ("Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.") is the same God of Becky at every age of my life, then and now.

So I'd sit there and look for Him.

Sometimes it would take seconds to see where He was. Sometimes minutes.

But I would see a glimpse of Him and image of what He was doing for me during that time. How he was my protector and my comforter even when I was in harms way or hurting.

Oh how I wish that I could share with you specific examples. It would make the hair on the back of your neck stick right up.

I hope today that whatever trial you find yourself in, whether past or current, you stop long enough to see Him. And don't get up until you do.

And finally a verse that I love so much during times like this, Romans 8:26-28 (the Message):

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."