First, sweet friend, let me tell you that I am so sorry.
I’m sorry for whatever drew you to this page, whatever grief it is that you face.
The past six months, and especially the past 2 months have been some of the most grief filled months I have ever known. Tears have flowed frequently and I’ve been not motivated to do anything. Me, the girl who wrote a holiday book, couldn’t get it together to make Easter meaningful. Even thought I just released a book and need to stay engaged with my people online, for the life of me I couldn’t post on social media because nothing felt real.
Whether you’ve just lost a life you held so dear, your marriage is crumbling, you’ve been hurt by a friend, lost a job, struggled financially, or whatever is your thing, I want to give you what I have to give—my words. What I want to give you is an afternoon on my couch where we can curl up with cozy blankets, drink come coffee and chocolate, and cry as we share or simply sit in silence. (I’d also really like to send you to the spa for the day because I feel pretty confident that would be helpful!) Sadly, I can’t do either of those things, but I can give you my words for free.
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If you know someone walking through grief, send them to this page and be a part of giving them this gift of comfort, some practical steps, and encouragement.
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For all my friends who are grieving, @BeckyKiser and @Lifeway / @BHPub are giving away a FREE copy of the entire Grief Chapter for Becky's book Sacred Holidays: Less Chaos, More Jesus. This chapter will help you feel heard and loved, as well as give you some practical steps on how to deal with your grief in the midst of every day life. Click the link in @beckykiser profile or go to http://www.beckykiser.com/grief-free-chapter-for-you to download today! Tag any other friends you know who might need this too! #sacredholidays
Again, sweet friend, I’m so sorry. I wish you didn’t need this chapter. I wish that you didn’t know pain and grief right now. But I believe that these ideas, thoughts, and encouragements will be significantly meaningful to you.
If you find this chapter helpful, then I’d love for you to grab the whole book, which is more like a resource than a book. I cover every holiday—New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Summer, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Birthdays—and give you lots of ideas and encouragement plus space to journal in each chapter all your ideas of what’s worked… and what hasn’t! Plus, I know giving you resources and ideas for each holidays falls short because we all have so many struggles that keep us from having less chaos, more Jesus. So I added Six Common Struggles chapters at the end of the book to help you make your holidays sacred and all the days in between more than ordinary. So I wrote these chapters: How To Not Be THAT Christian; Realistic Expectations; Conflict, Drama and All The Feels; Budgets and Generosity; Schedules and Plans; Grief and more!
Order your copy of Sacred Holidays today
to find #LessChaosMoreJesus during your holidays!
For those who have friends who are grieving…
and would like a few other recommendations of ways you can encourage them, here are some ideas that others have shared with me in person and on social media. (Note: I will continue adding ideas and links to business that encourage those who are grieving, so please share your ideas!)
Bottle of Tears (Website | Instagram): Bottle of Tears is my favorite gift to give those who are grieving! Based off Psalm 56:8, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” They have bottles to gift those grieving, as well as prints and tear shaped jewelry. This shop is run by a dear friend of mine, Lindsey Wheeler, whose personal story will encourage you as much as the gifts encourage those you love who are hurting!
Waiting in Hope (Website | Instagram): If you or a friend is experiencing infertility, miscarriage or the loss of a baby, connect with Waiting in Hope. This ministry is run by one of my best friends, and they will be able to surround you with community and support unlike any other!
Set Up Meals for those who are Grieving: One of my favorite programs to use is Meal Train—the whole program is super user friendly, even for this super-not-techy-girl! All you have to do is reach out to the friend grieving and have them send you a bunch of email addresses and pick the dates that they’d like. Be sure to ask if they have any allergies or meal preferences, or foods that they don’t like. Then set it all up and send it out, after that the program takes care of it all for you! Or, you can simply send a one time meal to a friend, even those who don’t live in the same city as you. I often use Uber Eats, GrubHub, or DoorDash to send people really good food.
Don’t ignore their grief or pretend like it didn’t happen. Often times we do this because we don’t know what to say or don’t want to make them sad again. Here’s the deal, they already thinking about it and they are already sad. Your words will be treasured by them. Whatever you have to say is just perfect. You can start with, “I’m so sorry” and a hug, that always goes a really long way!
Here is a song that has brought me a lot of comfort in my recent season of grieving. I hope it brings some healing today to you as well. Our God is able to heal. Our God is able to move mountains. Our God restores—maybe not to what was, but to what He wants things to be. We will be OK, even if we aren’t OK today. (Song: “I’ll Be OK” by Lydia Laird.)
A verse referenced in this song is one I found a few years ago. After months of testing, I had a doctor tell me, “You either have Chronic Myeloid Leukemia or (another rare blood disorder).” Life stopped in that moment. I had a 1 1/2, 4, and 6 year-old at home. Further testing revealed other things. A miracle is what the doctor said, “One of those results that we can’t explain as scientists. Time will show us what this was about. Was it a red flag of things to come? Only time will tell. But for today you don’t have either of those things.”
And now just three years later, I’ve found myself in a year of one hit after another. Nothing as serious as Leukemia, but one pounding after another. I still believe God is there and only because of that will I be and have I been OK. I’ve not been good this year, and that’s OK. Just because we are Christians, doesn’t mean we have to be OK.
A friend sent me this song on one day when another blow hit and I felt like I just couldn’t handle another one. “Would you come and move the mountains, because I’m too weak to climb? Promise that you’re with me in this fight. …I know I’m OK, because you’re with me…” And we will be, and He can move mountains.
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. … for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise.” Isaiah 43:18-21
“Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.” Mark 11:23
Love you so! Mean it.